Change the diaper, change the world.

Can I just say that I have gotten through some pretty difficult things in my life? I walked down the aisle in front of 200+ people, I've run sprints and hills to the point of exhaustion, I've experienced my whole body cramping up at once, and the biggest one: I've given birth. And after all of this, I can comfortably label changing your diaper as the most difficult and challenging thing I have ever done in my life thus far. Changing your diaper is like trying to order Chinese food from that Chinese restaurant by my parents house. It's like trying to train your dogs to stop barking at that damn squirrel that plays on our fence. It's like going to the mall and not spending any money...impossible, impossible, impossible!! I try to distract you with your toys, with singing to you, with making incredibly strange noises...nothing seems to work. For some reason, at the very second that I need you on your back - you insist on turning over and rocking back and fourth like a horse on a crack. Some parents have to take time outs from their babies when their babies won't sleep, or when their babies are colic and crying all the time. Not this mom - this mom has to take timeouts when trying to change your diaper. Sometimes I'm tempted to just forgo the diaper and pull your pants up and let that be that. I mean really, what's the big fuss about using diapers anyways? You have some pretty thick sweat pants that would soak up the pee just fine...who needs diapers??? But then social services might wonder if your Mommy is a 'fit' Mommy. And we don't want that...