A letter to a friend

Dear Paisley,

I am so sorry that I have almost burnt your son with coffee, not once, but twice. The first time it happened, we were at a play group. I was off, getting Connor his 65th mini-muffin that another Mom was so kind to bring. Did I bring anything for the other Mom's to eat? Of course I didn't. That would have made me look like I knew what was going on and of course, I don't. I had placed my opened (1st mistake) coffee mug on one of the kiddie tables (2nd mistake) and the next thing I know, you are sprawling towards Wil and my world is filled with french vanilla coffee...everywhere. "OH MY GOD," I screamed in horror. I looked Wil up and down two or three times, praying to god that no coffee touched his precious little hands. Thankfully, it didn't. The room grew uncomfortably quiet, but I could still hear every single Mom shouting "YOU $#@& IDIOT" at the top of their cerebrum lungs. I was horrified and so embarrassed. If they didn't already think I was an idiot, then I'm sure that one sealed the deal.

The second tragedy happened when you were at my house for a play date. The kids had waddled off into the bedroom off of the playroom, so I set my Tim's cup (that you so kindly bought for me) on the dehumidifier and followed them in. Of course 1 year olds have the attention span of...well...one year olds, so they quickly left the room and I followed suit. A few short minutes later, your son Wil comes bouncing out of the bedroom again with my Tim's cup in hand. Again, like Superwoman herself, you leaped into action, grabbing the cup from Wil just as it was tilting over. Before you knew it, you had robbed your son of a once in a lifetime opportunity to visit the burn unit. To be honest, I was shocked that you managed to once again, refrain from telling me how much of an idiot I am for leaving cups of coffee around your son. So thank you for that. Mike, on the other hand, told me that I really need to start minding what I'm doing. A little slap on the wrist that I very much deserved.

To my defense, neither cups of coffee were hot. In fact, they were both quite cool. But that is no excuse for my flaky ways. You see, I have a problem. I lack the ability to talk and pay attention to what I am doing at the same time. An example? I once put a bag of salad in the microwave while talking to my Mom on the phone. Fortunately, I didn't actually cook the bag of salad. But that doesn't make me sound any smarter, does it?

Anyhoo, I just want to thank you for continuing to see me and my son even though I increase your son's odds of getting burned by 75%.

See you Monday!

Jennie